


All These Lies He's Been Told

by KilannaD



Series: What is it to be a Hero? [3]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Identity Reveal, Peter is Matt's biological child, Post-Season/Series 01, Pre-Spider-Man: Homecoming, devildad, gently thrown out the window for not being good enough, little angst, maybe some crack peaking through, no beta we die like canon, spideyson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27648014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KilannaD/pseuds/KilannaD
Summary: “I told MJ about Beelzebub.” Matt turns away from the edge at the words, tilting his head and waiting for Peter to continue. Peter keeps staring across the skyline, letting the blush of the sky highlight the garnet of the buildings, the last rays of sun hitting the high glass in the distance and sending light bouncing, reaching. He wishes he had a camera. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened between you and Foggy. About the way lies hurt him."__Or; Peter meets some new people and some truths get told.
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, Matt Murdock & Karen Page, Matt Murdock & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Michelle Jones
Series: What is it to be a Hero? [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2014840
Comments: 20
Kudos: 269





	All These Lies He's Been Told

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter title taken from Superheroes by The Script, which is what I've decided is the theme song of What is it to be a Hero?
> 
> Y'AAAAAALLLLLL   
> I have gotten so much love for this so far. Within the first night, Beelzebub was literally more popular than my finished fic for Zero Escape. Is this what it's like to write for a big fandom???  
> Also, the second half of this was binge written due to a specific comment left on Beelzebub (lit-er-al-dumpsterfire you're amazing) but I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who left comments. You all give me life.  
> I really thought I'd end up going straight into JJs1 after Beelzebub but then I had a bunch of other stuff I wanted established before we hit the canon content. So expect one more fic before we get to Jessica. Though I do have my outline written for that and I'm pumped.   
> Also, while I like the idea of keeping this gen, Matt's character really depends on how DD affects his relationships and so I've decided I want to do a pairing for him. Don't worry, no matter what it'll probably end up background stuff. But while I love Matt/Foggy, I think I want to do something a little less mainstream. I'm torn between Frank/Matt and Matt/Jessica though, so let me know what you think and give reasons if you can. If Peter ends up with a pairing it'll no doubt be Ned/Peter/MJ but we'll see where that goes.   
> I can't even begin to say how much all the support so far means to me, I love you all so much.

Matt can hear every grain of sand shift with each punch. Can feel the bag heat up from the friction of one-one-two even three feet away. Can smell the sweat gathering on the back of Peter’s neck, the crook of his elbow. A block down the street, a homeless cat herds her kittens under a garbage can while in the other direction, a pregnant woman hails a taxi. Wind whistles in between buildings, painting the outlines of them in sharp contrast to the empty space. The entire world is vivid and there, all Matt has to do is reach out.

All Matt can think about is the blood on his son’s knuckles, the bruise lighting up his side with sharp acrid acid.

All he can remember is the crunch of bones under his son’s fist as they broke up a human trafficking deal.

All he can hear is his grandmother’s voice, echoing over and over.

 _The Murdock boys have the devil in them_.

* * *

Going out helps the rage. The burn diminishes, itch fading away. Peter can’t decide if that’s a good thing.

He sees the twelve-year-old he returns home, arms purpling with bruises, and decides rage is a small price to pay.

The other price he pays, though, might not be worth it. Not when his friends are on the line.

Living with the Leeds meant sleeping in the same room as Ned. Not a huge deal, they’d been doing it since they were tiny baby people. It did, however, make going out as Beelzebub (before the name got coined, even) without him finding out impossible. The obvious solution; tell Ned.

It went well, Peter thought. Or as well as could be expected considering Ned asked if he could lay eggs.

(Which he can’t. And he won’t. Ever. Not something that will develop… he hopes.)

Of course, then, as Peter is packing up, ready to move in with Matt, Ned brings up the obvious question.

“So, how’d you meet Daredevil? And is he, like, as scary as all the Reddit posts say?”

Peter bites back the instinctive _my dad isn’t scary_ which is a whole other can of worms.

(Uncle Ben had raised him, had been his father for so long in everything but title. Peter had called Matt that exactly once and they had since not talked about it a single time. Peter likes it that way.)

“Daredevil is…” a dork, really. Peter has seen him try to explain to a mother of three that no, he doesn’t need Jesus, he needs her to describe her children, please ma’am, we’d like to help you.

(The woman seemed to think Jesus would bring her children back. Peter, the good little wicca he is, kept well away from her.)

“Daredevil is only scary if you deserve it.” Which, also true. Matt may have the bad habit of landing in dumpsters (seriously, three in the last week) but Peter has seen him take down rapists and, last week, child traffickers. Beelzebub may be vicious and strong, but Daredevil, Peter admits to himself, can be _cruel_. Peter could tell when Daredevil forgot Beelzebub stood next to him, because he punched harder, twisted more arms, broke more bones. The real Devil come out to play.

 ~~It scares Peter that he isn’t scared of the Devil. That he recognizes that anger~~.

“Okay, like, fair. But what about Matt? Are you planning on telling him about all this?”

Peter hums noncommittedly, shoving some of his clothes into the suitcase.

(Matt, the huge neat freak he is, would scream if he could see it.)

“Peter.” He can _feel_ Ned’s narrowed gaze. Ned, much like Matt, is a huge dork that is secretly incredibly smart. “Peter Benjamin Parker. Does your dad know?” Oh, shit, full name. Abort abort abort.

“He, uh, he may have found out?” His voice cracks somewhere along the way and Peter takes a minute to wallow in hatred for puberty before deciding actually, better now than when he’s breaking bones.

~~He shouldn’t know the sound of snapping bones.~~

~~Ben would be so disappointed.~~

“Oh, shit dude. How’d that go?”

Peter sits back, considering the question. Ned, bless him, is practically vibrating where he sits on his bed.

“He agreed to let me keep doing it.” Though Peter knows exactly why; Matt has a bit of a control issue and would much rather know Peter’s comings and goings than deal with Peter sneaking out. “There’s conditions though. Nothing too crazy.” Actually, the conditions are probably Peter’s favourite part of this. Not because of the Mandates themselves (though Peter loves that Matt keeps those on the fridge) but because Matt talked to him like he’s an adult. They had a conversation and set boundaries and Peter is going to do his best with them.

~~Uncle Ben and Aunt May used to do the same.~~

“Oh wow. Matt might be like, the best option then, considering you don’t have to hide bruises and stuff.” Ned seems to realize what he’s implied because he starts backtracking. “Not that Aunt May and Uncle Ben wouldn’t have understood I just mean-”

“It’s okay Ned.” Peter’s throat burns and the magma boils.

~~Ned doesn’t know how right he is.~~

~~Peter’s thought the same thing.~~

“I got what you meant. And Matt’s pretty chill with a lot of stuff, as long as he knows what I’m going to be up to. Daredevil is actually worse. He won’t let me do my own patrol yet. Something about wanting more training.”

“I’m glad.” Peter stares Ned down, but he turns away and starts fiddling with his bedsheets. “I just mean, I’m glad you have Daredevil. The whole superpowers thing? Awesome, incredible. I’m not even surprised, really, that you’re helping people as a superhero.” Peter preens a little at the title. He can’t help it. “But you don’t have any training like the Avengers or anything and you said Daredevil is the one who got you the Beelzebub suit. I’m happy you have someone to show you the ropes, make sure you don’t get in over your head.” Ned shrugs, still refusing to look at Peter. He feels warmth spread through his limbs, making his smile big and goofy.

~~It feels so different from the wrath.~~

“I care, Peter, if you get hurt. So I’m glad you’re doing what you can to make sure it doesn’t happen.”

“Ned…” Peter trails off, deciding this is not a floor conversation halfway through the syllable. Ned leans into Peter a little when he throws an arm around him. “Double-D says it’s a matter of when, not if, I get hurt. But I also know I have a healing factor, and Double-D has a nurse friend. Haven’t met her yet, but he says she’ll be willing to help me. You don’t have to worry, Ned, I have people to take care of me.”

“Good.” Ned bumps their shoulders together before pulling back. “So, does this mean you know Daredevil’s identity?”

“Well, yeah, and he knows mine. But you know I can’t talk to you about that. Superhero bro code rule one man.”

“God, that is _so cool_.”

* * *

Moving in with Matt is comfortable and simple, like stepping in from the cold. Living together also means that going to Fogwell’s or out on patrol is way easier and Peter settles into his new life.

Normally, Matt trusts Peter enough to get home alone, but today, Peter comes out of school to find him waiting.

“Matt?” MJ, about to step away from Peter and Ned, stares hard at Peter’s dad.

“For a lawyer,” she says, “I don’t get oily vibes. What, did he wash them off first?”

“Matt’s a good lawyer,” Peter snaps back, but he knows she doesn’t mean anything by it. Peter says goodbye to them and heads over to his dad. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong?”

“No, but I was sent out for lunch and figured I’d swing by.” Peter’s school is about a mile from Matt’s office. Peter would bet that Matt just wanted to get out. Apparently, his office gets stuffy.

“Okay. Does this mean I can finally meet Mr. Nelson and Miss Page?”

“You can use their first names, bud.” Peter knows Matt can’t see the face he makes, but he laughs anyway. “Alright. I’d bet they’d love to meet you, anyway. Just don’t let Karen trick you into helping with the paperwork.”

They start walking and Peter lets Matt take his arm. “I wouldn’t mind helping out. I think being a paralegal sounds fun, anyway.”

“Are you serious?”

“No I’m Peter.” Peter cackles at the unimpressed face Matt makes before going on. “But, yeah, I’d like to help out. You always have so much paperwork at home I have to assume you guys are busy.”

Matt hums, sidestepping an idiot on their phone not paying attention. “Well, officially you’re too young to be a paralegal. But I can talk to Foggy and Karen, see if they’d like to hire you in an intern position. What do you think?”

“Oh shit, Matt seriously? That’d be _so cool_. I can probably find a way to get credits out of it. Plus, I figure I should know what laws apply to me.”

“Way to game the system, kid.”

* * *

The office is small and cramped, but the pile of children’s’ books in one corner and the hideous orange and brown afghan on one of the chairs makes it seem a lot homier. This late in the day, they don’t have any walk-ins, so Peter finds himself watching as Foggy Nelson calls without looking up;

“Matthew Murdock I swear if you didn’t bring me Thai, I’m quitting and running away to California with Marci.”

“Marci would only go with you to California if she got to feed you to the sharks.”

Karen Page pops up from behind her desk, commenting slyly, “Considering Marci is a shark, I don’t think she’d bother going to California.” She spots Peter, unceremoniously dropping the three files on her desk. “You must be Peter! So glad Matt’s finally stopped hiding you from us.”

“I wasn’t hiding him,” Matt says indignantly but is promptly ignored as Foggy pops his head out of his office to offer his hand to Peter.

“You were. You tend to hoard people you like. Hi, Peter. I’m Foggy.”

“It’s nice to meet you Mr. Nelson.” Peter shakes both their hands. “And you as well, Miss Page. Matt mentioned you were having trouble with paperwork, can I help at all?”

Foggy cringes. “Please don’t call me Mr. Nelson.”

“And Karen is just fine.” Karen looks over at her desk where the stack of files is slowly inching it’s way closer to the edge. Karen doesn’t even bother stopping the minor disaster as papers go flying all over the floor. “I mean, I wouldn’t say _no_ to help.” She tilts her head at Matt. “Though I’m surprised Matt mentioned it.”

“In my defense, I told Peter _not_ to let you trick him into helping.”

“Wow Matt,” Karen deadpans. “I can feel the faith you have in me, thinking I’d trick a small child into helping.”

“I’m not _that_ small.”

“Yes you are,” they all chorus. Peter feels attacked. Matt can’t even _see_ his height.

“I could grow,” he mutters bitterly. Karen laughs but Foggy goes still, staring hard at Matt’s neck. Peter spots the bright bruise where Matt’s collar has moved and makes an executive decision to not be involved with the Tight JawTM Foggy has going on.

“So, Miss Page,” he announces, marching past her and making sure she tracks his movements to her desk. “How do you want these papers organized?”

“It’s _Karen_ , Peter. Repeat after me. Ka-ren.”

“Miss-Page.” She glares at him but huffs a laugh at his shit-eating grin. Karen walks him through the colour coding files and sub-organization of information, typed vs braille, within the files themselves. Peter can just make out Foggy hissing at Matt in his office, but tries to tune them out for their privacy. Karen, when she spots them through the door, looks sad but doesn’t comment.

Halfway through the task, Karen realizes one of the papers is misprinted. The printer, however, makes a gurgling sound like a dying walrus. Being spanked does not motivate it.

“Fuck.” Karen freezes, side eying Peter.

“Miss Page, believe me when I say that I’ve heard worse.”

“You’re what, a freshman?”

“Yeah. At Midtown Tech.”

Karen tilts her head, back and forth. “Yeah, alright. If your high school is anything like mine, I can’t exactly treat you like a toddler.” She stares hard at the printer. “You, however, are a very bad girl.”

“Aw, Miss Page. Don’t be mean to it, it just needs some love.” Peter nudges her to the side, pulling open the panel. It doesn’t take long to fiddle with the cartridge and printer driver to get it working again, though he makes a note to bring tools to fix the motor. Peter re-hits the print button when he’s done and without a single dying noise, the printer does its job.

“Wow, Peter, thanks.”

“If you can fix everything like that,” he hears behind him and turns to find Foggy and Matt, shoulders tense and a few feet apart, “I’m okay with you interning here.”

“Intern?” Karen pipes up, looking Peter up and down with narrowed eyes. He feels like his soul is being weighed. She grins abruptly pulling him into a hug. “Yes. I’m keeping you.”

“I really hope you mean in spirit,” Matt says idly, but he smiles a little. “We’ll figure out what hours you can do Peter, make sure it doesn’t interfere with AcaDec.” Neither Matt or Foggy look at the other. It makes something in Peter’s heartburn and Karen, behind the safety of the printer, digs her nails into her hand. She looks sad again.

* * *

Peter asks Matt about the tension when they get home. This is how he gets the story of how Foggy learned Daredevil’s identity.

By the end of it, Peter feels…drained. Limp. Like a bum arm but it’s his entire body. Matt has mentioned that Foggy knows his identity but this is the first time Peter realizes Foggy doesn’t _support_ Daredevil. Ned has always been excited about Beelzebub, always asking questions. Besides the one conversation about how Peter can get hurt, Ned has had nothing bad to say. It’s humbling to realize it could’ve gone differently.

Peter thinks about the story on patrol that night. Thinks about it as he does homework. In class the next day. He keeps thinking about it until he comprehends;

Foggy doesn’t dislike Daredevil; he _hates what Daredevil represents_.

Matt had lied to Foggy about his powers, about what he did at night. He lied to Foggy about injuries, about his beliefs. Peter knows that the devil is just another facet of Matt, just a different part of who he is, the same as Beelzebub is for Peter. But Foggy spent years just seeing _Matt_. Blind, dorky, sad duck Matt Murdock. Not the violence in his fists, or the devil in his smile. Foggy’s best friend is Matt and he just found out Matt, as he knew him, doesn’t exist.

Peter can’t imagine the pain of finding out someone you love is someone different.

~~Is it any different than what he did to Aunt May and Uncle Ben?~~

~~Is it any different than what he’s doing to MJ?~~

Peter goes into the office, his first day as an official intern, and watches Foggy turn away from Matt’s split knuckles.

Peter makes his choice.

* * *

MJ stares for the .3 seconds it takes her to understand. For her to assimilate this knowledge into the wide tapestry of her world. And then she has questions.

“When?” Did it start?

“Late January.”

“How?” Did he fight? Did he swing? Did he meet Double-D?

“Remember the OsCorp trip? I snuck into one of the labs and got bitten by a spider. I think it was radioactive. I have super senses, strength, I stick to things, and I produce my own webs. I went to Hell’s Kitchen when I knew I’d be staying with Matt and ran into Daredevil. He got me the suit and has been training me ever since.”

“Ned?” Does he know? Did you tell him first?

“I told him when I moved in with him. Made it easier to sneak out.”

“Why?” Does he do it? Hasn’t he told her until now?

~~Why is he telling her now?~~

~~Why is he putting her in danger?~~

~~Not knowing got Ben and May killed.~~

“I have to.” His throat is closing again, magma burning and stomach tightening like a noose. “MJ, I _have_ to. If I don’t people get hurt

~~Aunt May and Uncle Ben lying dead in the alley.~~

~~They were out looking for _him_.~~

and now that I have these powers, I can’t just do _nothing_. And-” a deep breath, he feels like he’s drowning- “I can’t stand the thought of you stumbling across my identity and thinking I’ve been lying to you. That I’ve been hiding a part of myself. You’re my _best friend_ , MJ. You and Ned. And with Matt, you guys are all I have left, the only family I have left. I can’t lose you to something as stupid as keeping a secret.”

A pause of silence, a moment stretching into eternity, the tick of a clock drawing out into the ring of bells.

“Okay.”

* * *

“I told MJ about Beelzebub.” Matt turns away from the edge at the words, tilting his head and waiting for Peter to continue. Peter keeps staring across the skyline, letting the blush of the sky highlight the garnet of the buildings, the last rays of sun hitting the high glass in the distance and sending light bouncing, reaching. He wishes he had a camera. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened between you and Foggy. About the way lies hurt him. Maybe knowing will put her at risk, maybe it was a mistake. But I wouldn’t survive losing her and-

~~Ben and May had been looking for _him_.~~

~~He’d been stopping a bike thief when the gunshot ran out.~~

and not knowing is just as dangerous.”

 ~~Like~~ -

“Like with Aunt May and Uncle Ben.”

Matt’s head snaps over but Peter doesn’t move. Is frozen, watching a mother down the street tickle her baby in its stroller. She doesn’t seem to care she’s about to be out at night with her child in Hell’s Kitchen.

“What happened wasn’t your fault, Peter.” Peter knows the line, heard the police officer say the same thing that night, knows Uncle Ben and Aunt May would say it, hands curving around his jaw and rubbing through his hair. He knows the line, has tried telling himself the same thing. He knows the line.

~~He doesn’t believe it.~~

“It _is_.” The words rip out of him, grating his throat, burning his vocal cords, magma infused in each syllable. Rage escapes the cage of his teeth, each word dripping with a demon’s venom, with the devil’s wrath. “I went out every night, didn’t care if they noticed, or saw the bruises, didn’t care when my wrists burned red from overused spinnerets. I didn’t care when I heard them come out after me, didn’t care when they went walking in the middle of the night, calling my name, _looking for me_. I didn’t care enough to tell the truth, to pay attention, not until the gunshot rang out. I didn’t _care_ and now my aunt and uncle are _dead_.” He’s panting, air turning to acid in his throat and lungs. The woman waves at a baker before turning into a building, someone holding the door for her.

“My dad, your grandfather, was meant to throw his fight.” Peter gets enough control to hear, to _listen_ , to Matt. “Battlin’ Jack was getting old and raising a blind son alone isn’t easy or cheap. He asked the Fixer for fights and he set him up. And Dad did as he was told. Until the Creel fight.” Matt pauses, still as stone in the cooling evening. “Dad was supposed to take a dive. Except I’d asked him not to. Told him I wanted to see him win, for once. So he did. Bet on himself and instead of taking a dive, he _stood up_. He _won_. And the Fixer killed him in a back alley for it.” Peter can’t speak, doesn’t know what he’d say, but he’s listening and so he hears the words his dad isn’t saying.

_I know. I know what it’s like to blame yourself for a lost one._

“The bets were controlled by someone else, though. The money he made from that fight? It all went into an account left to me. Insane odds. It paid my way through university, paid for the law degree my dad always wanted me to have.” Matt smiles at Peter, soft around the edges and blood on his teeth. “What’s left of it has been put aside for _your_ university fund. I’ve started adding to it every month.” Peter can’t breathe, can’t focus past his dad’s voice and the scorching in his eyes. “You won’t believe me when I say it, and I know that. But you need to hear it Peter; no matter what happened that night, you aren’t to blame for your aunt and uncle’s death.”

Peter forces himself to swallow, forces the lump down and the truth up past it, because his dad has done so much for him Peter can at least give him this. “I love you. It hurts because it feels like a betrayal, even when I know it’s not, but you _get it_. I believe in the spirits of nature and the world, in free will. But when I think about how _you're_ my dad, it makes me believe in fate because I don’t think there’s anyone else out there that understands the way my blood boils, or the way I have to care because if I don’t no one will.”

His dad pulls Peter into a hug, tight against the armor he wears and balanced precariously on the edge of the building, light and confident and _there_ , cast in shadows in the delicate time between day and night.

“I love you too, Peter. My grandma used to say Murdock boys have the devil in them. And I’m more sorry than I can ever say that you have it too, but I am so _proud of you_ , son, for using it for good. I have no doubt you’ll do incredible things.”

* * *

“Hey, Matt, I’m heading out.”

“Actually Karen-” he could do this, just open your mouth and tell her the truth. Two little words.

_~~“Was any of it real, Matt?”~~ _

“Yeah, Matt?” Oh, Lord, he couldn’t do it.

“Just—have a good evening.”

“O-kay? Thanks, Matt. You too.”

How did Peter do it?

* * *

“Karen, can I talk to you?”

“Sure, Matt. What do you need?” Foggy’s heartbeat speeds up a little, breathing turning steady and quiet. Shit, shit, shit. How does one tell people the truth? What did all the parenting books say about being upfront with your kids?

_~~“Tell me one thing, Matt. Are you even really blind?”~~ _

“I, uh, need the case files for Mr. Klim. Do you have them?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, just give me a second.” In the next room over, Foggy curses Matt under his breath.

Matt doesn’t need Foggy telling him he’s a coward. He already knows.

* * *

_~~“Not knowing put them in danger.”~~ _

~~The truth is dangerous.~~

_~~“I thought we were friends.”~~ _

~~I just want them safe.~~

~~What would Fisk have done to them, if he knew?~~

_~~“I didn’t care enough to tell the truth.”~~ _

_“Not knowing is just as dangerous.”_

* * *

“Karen.” She pauses from packing up, hair swishing through the air as she twists towards him. Foggy, stepping out of his office, pauses. “I need to tell you something.” Foggy goes to leave but Matt is already shaking his head, reaching out halfheartedly. “No, Fogs, you need to hear this too. You deserve that.” Karen’s heartbeat speeds up a little, and Matt zeroes in on her, using her shampoo and the small puffs of air from her nose to locate her face.

“Karen, I…”

_~~“I wouldn’t survive losing her.”~~ _

“I’ve been lying to you, Karen. You and Foggy. And when Foggy found out--” Matt cuts himself off sharply, ears filled with Foggy’s harsh laugh and the pounding beat of his heart as he realizes what’s really happening. “I hurt him. I hurt him by lying, by hiding. And I will regret the pain I caused him till my dying day.” Foggy swallows, the wet sound loud even against teeth on nails as Karen bites her fingers, her clothing shifting when she hunches in on herself.

“The fight,” she murmurs, “when you two weren’t talking.”

“Yeah.” Matt forces himself to swallow, thinks of his son, small and hunched over the edge of a building, smelling of blood and sweat and armor. The words start tumbling out of Matt’s mouth, quick as a bullet, each chasing the other in the still air of the office as Matt tries to make Karen understand. “Yeah. Yeah, he found out and he was rightly pissed at me. I lied to him for years and I lied to you but I just wanted to keep you guys _safe_. Knowing is a danger, it paints a target on you but something Peter said made me realize; whether you know the truth or not you’re still in danger and I _hate that_. I hate that my choices are putting you in danger, that I can’t keep you safe no matter what I do, but I hate lying to you and you deserve to know why you’re in danger, at least. You and Foggy deserve to have the choice to walk away, if you want.”

“Matt, what are you telling me?” She knows. Or she suspects. Matt can hear her heart drumming in her chest, can feel the air move at the quick, shallow breaths she takes. Beside them, Foggy’s gone still, hair and clothes quieting with the lack of movement. His heart is heavy and Matt has had years to learn his tells but Matt can’t say what he’s thinking now.

“I’m Daredevil.”

The world goes loud, cars honking, heartbeats and voices, children screaming in delight, a masterful orchestra contained in between the _thump-thump_ of Karen’s rabbiting heart. It all crashes to the ground, the world narrowing into the raw pain in her voice as she talks.

“You—what?” Her hair shifts as she shakes her head, shoulders going back, nails digging into palms. “ _You’re Daredevil_?! And you didn’t think to mention this? Not when we were going after Fisk, or when you _saved my life_? When Fog-oh my God. The night of the explosions. Foggy and I were in the _hospital_ and you didn’t think to mention that you’d just been framed as a cop killer?!”

“Karen-”

“How Matt? I’ve seen you fight. Are you—are you even _blind_?” She turns sharply away, hands pulling at her hair roots but Matt can’t _breathe._

They always ask if he’s really blind.

~~Did they really think he’d fake that?~~

~~Peter hadn’t asked about faking. He’d asked if Matt had powers.~~

Haltingly, Matt stumbles through the same explanation he’d given Foggy. And when she asks the same question Foggy did

~~The same question everyone asks.~~

_~~“Why?”~~ _ ~~~~

“Why, Matt?”

he tells the truth.

“Because I _have to_.”

_~~“I have to care because if I don’t no one else will.”~~ _ ~~~~

At the end of the explanation, the little girl echoing in Matt’s head

_~~“Daddy, please stop, I don’t want to anymore.”~~ _

the whole time, Karen doesn’t absolve him, doesn’t say anything.

~~Did he expect any different?~~

Until, finally, the last piece of the puzzle clicks for her.

“Oh God. Beelzebub. Beelzebub started being seen when-” she chokes, and Foggy’s heartbeat is thundering, hands balling into fists. He still isn’t happy about it, and Matt can’t blame him. “Peter is Beelzebub. You let _your son_ go out and fight crime?!”

“He was doing it before I met him. I’m trying to keep him safe, Karen.”

“You two busted up a _sex trafficking ring two days ago!_ Those men had _guns_ , Matt. What happens when Peter gets hurt?”

“We have someone, a nurse friend.”

“And that makes it _better?!_ ”

“It’s better than him doing it alone!” He breaths in harshly, trying not to snap. Not her fault Matt’s a terrible father. “You weren’t there when Peter told me why he does it. You didn’t hear the conviction in his heartbeat when he said he’d keep doing it. I would rather he goes out with me where I can protect him than try going behind my back.”

“I can’t believe this.” No one says anything

~~Foggy hasn’t said a single word this whole time.~~

and Matt knows staying won’t do anything except hurt.

~~Maybe he’s a masochist.~~

“I’m going to take some paperwork home with me. Just—let me know when you’re okay with me coming back.”

Karen doesn’t say anything, but Foggy steps away from his door.

“Matt-”

“It’s alright, Foggy. Let me know if you need anything.”

Matt walks out and makes a point of not listening to the whispers that follow him.

* * *

Peter gets home from AcaDec practice before Matt does. Peter’s hearing isn’t as good as his dad’s, but he still goes through the breathing exercises Matt’s been showing him until the world is narrowed to just the quiet apartment. He has homework, but he really doesn’t feel like doing it. Besides, there’s something else he’d rather work on.

When Peter goes into Matt’s room, he looks in the closet to see if there are any extra blankets, mostly so he doesn’t have to lie if Matt asks why Peter’s scent is over his room. After the extra blanket has been hunted and claimed, Peter picks up one of the braille books Matt keeps on his shelves. He takes the one that looks precariously placed so Peter can say he thought it would fall. Settling on the ceiling, blanket tucked tight around him so it doesn’t fall, Peter starts running his hands over the book.

He’s been trying to teach himself braille, but doesn’t want Matt to know until he’s confident with it. It’d be a nice surprise, Peter thinks.

The words under his fingertips catch up with his brain and Peter suddenly can’t stop grinning.

 _101 Ways to Communicate with your Teenager_ sits at the top of the page and Peter understands the careful pauses Matt’s been doing before any heavy conversation. Peter had thought it was to consider whether to talk or not, but Matt was probably trying to remember the parenting books.

Matt’s been trying to be a better dad to Peter. It makes him feel warm.

He doesn’t spend much time practicing his braille, worried Matt will be home soon. He’s just resettled with his physics textbook when Matt comes home, shoulders tense and movements slow.

“Are you-” Matt tilts his head, considering- “reading on the ceiling?”

“It’s comfortable.” Matt raises an eyebrow but doesn’t comment on Peter’s defensiveness. Which, weird. Matt is always ready to tease Peter.

“How was work?”

“Fine.”

Peter doesn’t need Matt’s ears to hear the lie.

“Bullshit.”

“Language, kid.”

“You swear all the time. You take the _Lord’s name in vain_.” Peter gasps dramatically, which manages a wry smile but nothing else. “Seriously, what happened?”

Matt braces his arms over the sink, quiet, before pushing off and reaching for a beer. “Told Karen about Daredevil. She put the pieces together for Beelzebub, by the way. I’m sorry, about that. It should’ve been your choice.”

“It’s okay. I like Karen and if you trust her so do I.” Except Matt is still tense, knuckles white against the beer. Peter had been loose after he’d told MJ, glad she’d taken it well-

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Well, fuck.

“What did she say?”

“The usual questions.” Matt shrugs as he collapses on the couch. Peter inches down on a web until he can extend his legs and curl up beside him. Matt’s shoulders loosen, a little, at the contact. “The why, the how, if I was really blind.”

“She asked _what_?!” Matt takes off his glasses whenever he walks in the apartment so Peter can see the startled blink.

“If I was really blind. People usually do.”

“That makes no sense. Do they know how you lost your sight?”

“Well, uh, yeah? Foggy even recognized my name when we first met.”

“So they think you’ve been faking being blind—blind from a public accident—since you were _nine_?” Matt doesn’t say anything and Peter doesn’t push. He’s mad though. He likes Foggy and Karen, thinks they're nice. Apparently, they are also huge dumbasses.

Matt finishes his beer, still quiet. Peter presses his lips together and decides Matt isn’t allowed to look sad. His eyebrows lower and his lips go soft and there’s none of the vibrancy, none of the _life_ Peter is so used to seeing on his face.

“Right. Up.” Peter’s already leaping across the room and unlocking the closet.

“What?”

“Up. You gotta get dressed if we’re heading out.”

“Kiddo-”

“Nope.” Peter shoves the Daredevil suit into Matt’s arms, grinning. “We got lives to save.”

Matt puts on the suit.

* * *

They end up breaking up a weapons deal. Which— _awesome_. Getting these off the streets will help a lot of people.

The issue is that one of the guys present is a cop. And not the good kind.

Double-D cusses and Beelzebub sing-songs “ _Language~_ ” while tying them all up. He can feel the glare he gets, but, you know. Worth it.

Daredevil pulls out his phone, but he isn’t dialing 911. Beelzebub sits on the cop, stopping him from trying to wriggle out of the webs and listens in.

“Officer Mahoney, you need to come to the warehouse on Pier 88.”

Peter can just make out the other guy’s voice. “ _Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Is this Daredevil?_ ”

“A weapon deal has been interrupted and a corrupt officer from the 17th Precinct is involved.”

“ _God fucking damnit, man. Why didn’t you call 911 like a normal person?_ ”

“I don’t trust the cops.”

“ _You trust me._ ”

“You were never on Fisk’s payroll.”

“ _Ugh. I helped you with_ one _kingpin, this does not make us friends. I’ll arrest you the next time I see you_.”

“Sure you will.” Daredevil hangs up, looking extremely self-satisfied. Despite the threats, they hang around until Officer Mahoney shows up.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me.” He lowers his gun and Beelzebub lowers himself from the ceiling, waving a little. Mahoney skims the room, eyebrows lifting. There are at least thirty guys tied down, all unconscious and spread between the dozen or so crates of guns and ammo. “You,” he points at Daredevil, who grins widely, “are under arrest for vigilantism and assault. And you,” he points at Beelzebub, “have poor taste in mentor figures. Whatever happened to people looking up to, like, Captain America?”

“Captain America fought giant tentacle monsters in the pacific ocean last week,” Beelzebub points out. “Should I try doing that?”

“Don’t even think about it,” Double-D snips at the same time Mahoney groans heavily.

“Seriously. You’re both under arrest. I will also be suing for damage to my mental health.”

Mahoney doesn’t even bother pretending to chase them when they leave.

* * *

A couple of days later whatever good cheer Matt got from stopping the weapons deal and meeting his cop (Peter hadn’t realized being a vigilante meant having A CopTM but is now dead set on finding one as soon as he can)(Matt refuses to acknowledge Brett Mahoney as Daredevil’s Cop but Peter knows he’s lying) is gone. He still hasn’t gone into the office, hasn’t spoken again about Karen, hasn’t even gotten a call from Foggy. Peter’s skipped his internship on previous days but this time, when he gets out of school, he goes straight to the office.

A client is just walking out when Peter gets there, but it must be slow because Karen and Foggy are both staring at the headline from the crashed weapons deal.

“Oh, Peter.” Foggy smiles, but it's tight and Karen is looking him over closely, probably trying to find injuries.

“I can’t stay for long. Matt and I are going to binge Star Wars. But I wanted to say something.” He meets their eyes, willing them to _understand_. “What we do isn’t legal, and it goes against the system. But sometimes the system _doesn’t work_. You guys know about what happened with Fisk better than I do, but I know Karen nearly died in police custody. I know about the cop purge. If it wasn’t for someone going against the system, Fisk would be ruling Hell’s Kitchen and you two would probably be dead.”

“We know Daredevil does good work,” Karen says softly. “But we don’t want to see our friend hurt.”

“Would you say the same thing if he was a cop? A firefighter? Would you say the same thing if it was Tony Stark or Steve Rogers that you knew?” Foggy opens his mouth but Peter talks over him. “No. Helping people means putting himself in danger. If you had a client that had powerful enemies, you’d do the same thing, just in the system. We _save lives_. And that will always be more important than letting distant authority win.”

“And what about you?” Karen snaps. “You aren’t even fifteen yet, Peter. You shouldn’t be out on the streets-”

“My aunt and uncle _died_. They died because there was no one to stop a mugger. Because _I_ couldn’t stop a mugger. Beelzebub, the fighting and the streets and the _danger_ , that’s all a part of who I am now. Just like Daredevil is a part of Matt. The only question is if you can accept that.”

He walks out before they can say anything else.

* * *

Matt gets a call the next day, his phone ringing _Foggy Foggy Foggy_ until he picks up. Peter doesn’t listen.

Matt goes into the office the rest of the week.

* * *

Karen and Foggy worry. A lot. But Matt loves them and so they come to compromises and the Murdock Mandates grow.

 _Thou shall take a day of rest every week_ gets thrown on after day 17 of minimal sleep.

 _Thou shall not go out before cases or tests_ gets taped on by Foggy when he has to show up in court alone because of Matt’s broken ribs.

 _Thou shall listen to at least half of what the Nurse commands_ is Karen’s addition the first time Peter gets shot and decides he can totally go to school the next day despite Claire’s _“Don’t be like your dad. Rest for at least three days, healing factor or not.”_

(Claire is terrifying Peter decides when she rips into Matt about parenthood as she stitches Peter up. Kind and loving and horrifically competent and able to make Peter feel three years old with his hand in the cookie jar. He decides she is never allowed to meet MJ.)

Before Peter knows it it’s May 4th and he’s suddenly fifteen years old.

* * *

They keep the party small, just MJ, Ned, and the office of Nelson and Murdock. Karen brings a red velvet ice cream cake and Peter is salivating before the candles are out. The gifts are small, but well-chosen until Matt places a horribly mis wrapped present down and Peter grins because it’s clear Matt did the wrapping.

Inside is a camera for amateur shots. It’s not the nicest model out there but Peter _loves it_ , hadn’t even realized Matt knew he took photos on his phone all the time.

(Of course Matt knows, Matt knows everything. Peter’s dad is _awesome_.)

He takes a million pictures of all of them and by the end of the day, Peter can’t stop smiling. It’s a school night so MJ and Ned can’t stay, but after everyone is gone, Matt and Peter reach for their suits. Before they head out though, Matt presses another box into Peter’s hands, unadorned.

“You already gave me a gift, though?”

“This one isn’t for Peter.” Daredevil leans forward, tapping the armor over Beelzebub’s heart. “You’ve been doing such a great job, sweetheart, I am so proud of you. I trust you enough to help me watch over Hell’s Kitchen and I expect you to come out with me sometimes. But I also know this isn’t the borough in your blood, not the way it’s mine.” He pulls away, grinning, and Beelzebub opens the box.

It’s a burner phone.

“Call, if there’s trouble.”

Beelzebub grins and the Devil matches him.

* * *

**Queens and Midtown protected by a demon**

_By James Henricks, Reporter for the New York Bulletin, May 7 th, 2015_

Over the last month, the vigilante known as Beelzebub has gained an occult following, same as Daredevil. But no matter how many people kept their eyes peeled, he was always seen in Hell’s Kitchen in the company of Daredevil. This all changed on the 4th.

The evening of May 4th involved Beelzebub being noticed at at least six different locations, each spread around Midtown or Queens. How the masked vigilante got over the river is unknown as he was never spotted on Queensboro Bridge.

At first, popular thought held to it being a one-off, though no one could agree on a reason why. This proved false when, in the following nights, Beelzebub continued being spotted around Midtown in the early evenings with the occasional crime stopped in Queens. During the drug bust at Pier 90 (see page B-2 for the full story) he was again seen with Daredevil.

Apparently, while Daredevil is near-religious for remaining in his home borough, Beelzebub is willing to spread out and help those outside it. Could this mean that Beelzebub isn’t a Hell’s Kitchen native? Or does whatever gray moral code he operates with mean he wants to help as many as possible, which means splitting up from his mentor?

* * *

 **Hero Finder (@maskwatchnyc):** so what’s everyone’s thoughts on #beelzebub leaving the kitchen?

 **Beelzebub is bae (@queensnative):** @maskwatchnyc glad to see a Queens boy helping out

 **BigDD (@marrymedaredevil):** @queensnative you have no proof he’s from Queens. He could be from Midtown. Or Georgia for all we know

 **Lexia (@lexiadoescosplay):** @queensnative @marrymedaredevil forget assuming they’re from Queens, don’t assume sex/gender identity.

 **Beelzebub is bae (@queensnative):** @marrymedaredevil @lexiadoescosplay the photos seem pretty suggestive of a male :/ Also, why else would he find a way to go over the river if not because he’s a native?

 **Hero Finder (@maskwatchnyc):** @queensnative @marrymedaredevil @lexiadoescosplay now that it’s been mentioned, did DD ever comment on pronouns?? I think we all just assumed because of the police statements. @realspiderman I know you don’t always respond to @ but can we get an answer this time so we don't insult you and DD?

 **Beelzebub (@realspiderman):** @maskwatchnyc @lexiadoescosplay thank you both for being decent human beings. As of this moment, DD and I both use he/him pronouns. And as for where I’m from; I’m a New Yorker, and that’s all that matters. The entire city is my home and I’ll do what I can to protect it.

* * *

“How did you get your cop?”

“ _BZ, I thought this phone was for emergencies._ ”

“This is an emergency. I just dealt with a rapist but I’d like to have a cop I know I can trust.”

“ _You could use Brett._ ”

“When I’m in the Kitchen, sure. And a girl at my school’s dad is a cop in Queens, and I trust them enough if I ever have something big on that side of the river. But I’m in Midtown right now, and I need to figure out what I’d do if something big went down.”

“ _I can’t help you with this, Beel. I knew Brett outside of the mask first, so I knew I could trust him. After Fisk, I started sending criminals his way. I think he hates it._ ”

“So you’re saying you’re like a cat.”

“ _What? No._ ”

“Uh, yes. Like when a cat thinks you’re too stupid to get your own food so they bring you dead animals. You did the same thing but with criminals.”

“ _It’s not the same._ ”

“It totally is.”

“ _No, it’s not_.”

“Whatever you say Mr. Meowington the third. I gotta go find a cop willing to let me bring them beat-up criminals.”

“ _God damnit kid, you’re not dropping this are you_?”

“Not even a little. Oh, and Double-D?”

 _“…what_?”

“Language.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking I'll do a newspaper and twitter bit at the end of each story, what do y'all think?  
> Come check me out on Tumblr at https://kilannad.tumblr.com/. I'm planning on doing an MCU Rec List in the next couple of days so expect that. I also post excerpts and writing updates if y'all are interested in keeping up with me between works.


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